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Healing After Traumatic Loss: Finding Meaning After Gun Violence

When Life Changed Forever

There are moments that divide our lives into “before” and “after.”
For me, those moments came with the loss of my brother to gun violence in 2019 and my mother’s passing in 2021.

Each loss broke open parts of my world that I once believed were solid — family, safety, purpose. The pain was deep, and it showed up in ways I didn’t always expect: anger, withdrawal, exhaustion, and a constant search for meaning. As a clinician, I’d spent years helping others through grief. But in my own, I had to relearn what healing truly meant.

That process reshaped not only my understanding of grief — it reshaped me. It’s also the reason ThrivePath exists today: to help others move through the darkness of loss and rebuild their sense of self and purpose after traumatic events like gun violence.

What I Learned About Grief

Grief is not something you “get over.” It’s something you learn to live alongside.
For a long time, I tried to control it — to understand it, to outwork it, to reason with it. But grief doesn’t respond to logic; it asks for presence, patience, and compassion. It changes how we see the world, how we relate to others, and how we define strength.

Through my journey, I found that real healing comes not from forgetting or moving on — but from reconnecting with meaning. From finding ways to live that honor those we’ve lost while still allowing ourselves to grow.

That understanding became the foundation of the ThrivePath Healing Model.

The ThrivePath Healing Model

At ThrivePath, we use a compassionate, trauma-informed framework designed to help individuals and families process grief in a way that honors both the pain and the possibility of healing.
This model grew out of my own lived experience and years of clinical practice.

1. The Shattered World

When violence or sudden loss enters our lives, it destroys what we once believed about safety, fairness, or the future. This stage is about acknowledging that rupture — allowing yourself to name what was broken and give shape to the confusion.

2. The Ambiguous Presence

Even when someone is gone, their presence often lingers — in memories, routines, or moments that catch us by surprise. This step invites you to recognize that ongoing bond without judgment. It’s okay to talk to them in your mind, to keep their photos close, or to hold onto what connects you.

3. The Continuing Bond

Healing deepens when we transform pain into purpose. This phase asks, “What do I carry forward from their life?” It could be a value they lived by, a lesson they taught, or a passion they inspired. Continuing bonds allow love to evolve instead of disappear.

4. The Reconstructed Path

With time, support, and reflection, we begin to rebuild our assumptive world — the inner map that helps us navigate life. This step is about integrating the loss into your story, rather than letting it define it. It’s about rediscovering joy, meaning, and connection.

A Guided Reflection for You

I created the Healing After Traumatic Loss worksheet as a way to begin this process — whether you’re grieving personally or supporting someone who is.
It offers gentle prompts, journaling space, and short grounding exercises to help you make sense of grief’s many layers.

You can download it here to explore your own healing path:
→ Download the “Healing After Traumatic Loss” Reflection Worksheet

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